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 Frequently-Asked Questions
James (not his real name) – one of our Acorns therapists
– has answered some of your more common questions:
What is ‘addiction’?
The state of applying oneself habitually and compulsively to a pursuit, in our case, the use of the mind-altering substance,
alcohol, although people can be addicted to all sorts of things including hard,
soft and prescription drugs, gambling, sex, food, cleanliness and a host of
other compulsions. We sometimes describe addiction as "when the body tells
the brain what to think".
[Top]
Are all drugs the same when it comes to addiction?
Drugs have a two-pronged addictive power. They are
both physically and psychologically addictive. Some drugs have a rather feeble
power to addict physically (alcohol) whereas some are powerful
(nicotine) or even vicious (crack cocaine) in this respect. Most cause a
powerful mental obsession.
[Top]
Why do you include ‘Alcohol’ as a drug?
Because it is. Alcohol is a mind-altering drug —
it has a depressive effect on the brain. The reason it is often described as a
stimulant is that it does stimulate the heart but it depresses the parts of the
brain which control our inhibitions and worries; consequently people who have
had a drink are usually animated and exhibitionist — their normal sense of
self-control has been suppressed.
[Top]
Why is alcohol sold legally if it is a drug?
There are many drugs that are sold legally and rightly so — non-prescription
medicines, coffee, tea, etc., and some which, if they were to be introduced
today, would be banned, like tobacco. Alcohol is our problem because we abuse
it by drinking an excessive amount for its mind-altering effect. Some
people abuse cough medicine for the same reason but there is nothing inherently
wrong with cough mixture.
[The alcoholic loves the Biblical advice to "…not drink water only, but
take a little wine to help your digestion…" but hates the observation
"Show me someone who drinks too much…and I will show you someone
miserable and sorry for himself…" In the first quotation, they fail
completely to notice the use of the word "little".]
[Top]
How can I be an alcoholic when I know other people who drink
more than I do?
It is an old joke that an alcoholic is someone who
drinks more than their doctor, but it isn’t so much a question of how much we
drink but why we drink. Alcoholics always drink for the effect the
alcohol has on the brain. There are heavy drinkers who may well drink more than
we do but they don’t come home full of remorse and guilt. Nor do they lie
about how much they drink. However, many of these go on to be full-blown
alcoholics as they become dependent on it.
[Top]
Are you born an alcoholic or do you become one?
Some people claim to have drunk alcoholically from
the first drink while others lose control only after years of drinking. There is
no doubt that alcoholism runs in families and scientists claim to have found a
gene which predisposes to addiction. Hard drugs seem to cause addiction much
more readily, which is one of the reasons that the typical member of Narcotics
Anonymous is, on average, much younger than that of Alcoholics Anonymous.
But does it matter?
[Top]
I notice you describe Acorns as a treatment agency for 'Alcohol
Dependence'. Do you dislike the word 'alcoholic' too — because I hate it?
The problem we have here is really with other people and what they
think. There is no doubt the word 'alcoholic', for some people, conjures up the
stereotype of the tramp-like figure in a dirty raincoat with a string belt,
drinking cheap booze from a bottle in a brown-paper bag. There are a few such
people about, but most folk who have lost control of their drinking have not
(yet) gone down that far and most alcoholics die before they get onto 'Skid
Row'. Many may still be holding down a job and still retain the outward
appearance of respectability. Your GP, teacher, local policeman, solicitor or next-door neighbour could be
in trouble and you might not know it — but you will probably get to know it in
time as they sink deeper into their addiction.
It is our friends and families who tend to think of the word 'alcoholic' as derogatory
— they are ashamed of us and for us. Personally, I do not have
this problem because I am no longer concerned with other people's opinions of
me. I say that I am an alcoholic as a statement of fact which best describes the
illness from which I suffer but did not ask to have, and if others can't cope
with that it's their problem; I am not responsible for their ignorance — but
my obvious recovery might help to educate them.
The politically correct term now seems to be 'alcohol misuse' but we believe
that there are important psychological reasons for using the words 'alcoholic'
and 'alcoholism'. If you come to us for help we will explain all of this to you.
Having said all of this, I think the most accurate term for our condition is
'alcohol dependence syndrome' (ADS) or, better still, the all-encompassing term,
'chemical dependence syndrome' (CDS). All of this is described in much more
detail in my book.
[See the Family
Shame question below.]
[Top]
How can you describe yourself as ‘an alcoholic’ when you
don’t drink anymore?
Because I have lost control of my ability to drink
alcohol normally and have experienced the mental obsession induced by its use (I
am powerless over alcohol). Now, I know that one drink would bring that
obsession back to life as if it were a Dracula
and it would rage unchecked in my life once again. One drink would be too many
and a hundred not enough. I aim to keep the stake through its heart by
continually reminding myself, "I am an alcoholic" — but I don’t need
to drink today: I am an alcoholic in recovery.
[Top]
Do you have to go through the day with white knuckles and
gritted teeth, because that doesn’t sound like much of a life to me?
Me neither — and that would not be an acceptable
solution to our problem. Today, the thought of alcohol hardly enters my mind; I
have been freed absolutely from the mental compulsion to drink by working the
twelve-step programme.
[Top]
What is ‘detox’ and do I need it?
This is short for ‘detoxification’ and is the
process by which the drug is physically removed from the body by the body’s
own metabolism. This is always a bad time, ranging from uncomfortable, through
unpleasant and painful, to agonizing and dangerous. Anyone using hard drugs or
large amounts of alcohol would be advised to ‘detox’ under medical
supervision.
[Top]
Am I really an alcoholic?
If you are addicted to hard drugs you will know
about it; you don’t need to ask this question. If you are addicted to drinking
alcohol you will also know about it but you could well be unwilling to consider
it to be true. The words "I am an alcoholic" stick in our throats for
the simple reason that to admit the problem means having to do something about
it. We may be alcoholics but we are not stupid, so we know that this means
stopping drinking and that, to an alcoholic, is a truly terrifying
prospect since alcohol is the one thing that blunts the razor of reality and
allows us to escape from our world of fear. Try asking yourself, "Is
alcohol costing me more than mere money?" — and try the AUDIT
test.
[Top]
I know my problem is alcohol and I have told my doctor I'm an alcoholic but he won't believe me. He tells me I'm not
a real alcoholic and wants to put me on pills; what should I do?
The chances are that your doctor is drinking as much as (or more
than) you and can't face up to his own problem — an alcoholic "in
denial", as we say. If he accepts that you are an alcoholic, he must
logically accept that he has the same problem. He cannot suggest that you stop
drinking because he would have to consider the same course of action himself.
Giving you pills will probably make him feel better. Go for a second opinion.
[A recent survey has indicated that as many as half the young people going into
general practice today have an unacceptable reliance upon alcohol and one in
fifteen practising GPs have a drink or drug problem.]
[Top]
I have tried over and over again to stop but I can’t; I
always fail. How can I succeed this time?
Because you will be working the
twelve-step programme. Fear of the
consequences does not stop you drinking and you cannot stop drinking by
will-power, as most non-alcoholics think; nor can you do it alone. Much depends
upon just how much you really want to stop.
[Top]
My main drug isn't alcohol,
but if I can't get my usual 'fix', I get drunk instead. Where do I stand?
Most drug addicts will use alcohol if they can't get their usual
drug. It is a poor substitute but it is comparatively cheap and it is legal. But
they are using alcohol for the 'high' feeling it gives them and so they are drinking alcoholically. Draw your own conclusions.
[Top]
But I don’t want to be an alcoholic.
Nobody wants to be an alcoholic, but then nobody wants to be a diabetic either
— but it happens.
[Top]
But diabetics have an illness, I just drink
too much.
Alcoholism is an illness, not much different in effect from other allergies.
People with an allergy to nuts can't eat anything that contains nuts and alcoholics can’t tolerate alcohol — their
thinking changes when they drink and any control they once had has long gone. It
is similar to the way diabetics can't tolerate unlimited amounts of sugar and
they have to learn to live with the condition.
[Top]
I feel so ashamed of myself for being so weak.
There is no need to feel ashamed of being an alcoholic, despite what your
friends and family may say. They don't understand because they haven't got this
illness. After all, you didn't set out to become the way you are, so don't
blame yourself; it's not your fault. (But you do need to do something
about it — and soon. They can blame you for not doing that!)
[Top]
I've heard medical people say that alcoholism isn't
a disease; it seems you don't know what you are talking about.
It's true that some controversy rages about the 'disease model' of
alcoholism and this argument comes about because of medical definitions of
'disease' and whether or not 'alcoholism' fits the definitions. But you can't
get away from the fact (and those medical people you mention seem to ignore
this) that psychiatrists' waiting rooms are filled with people who drink too
much, can't stop and yet claim that alcohol is not a problem for them.
Psychiatrists, doctors of the (disturbed) mind, don't hesitate to put these
people into mental hospitals because of it, thereby openly accepting that there
is something seriously wrong with the way they think — they are mentally ill.
Do you have an illness or have you got a disease? It is something of a semantic
question and the end result is the same: there's something wrong with the way
alcoholics function and its needs putting right. Speaking personally, before you
ask, sometimes I refer to it as an illness and sometimes I call it a disease,
but I think the most suitable word is 'condition'.
You can call it what you like, the important thing is to get it put right. [It
was only after I got well I will came to realize how crazy my thinking used to
be.]
Something to think about: Is depression a disease or is it an illness —
or should you (as I have heard some medical people say) just "pull yourself
together"?
[Top]
I'm glad you brought that
up. I think my problem isn't alcoholism; it's depression — after all, my
doctor has given me pills for it so that must be the case.
Right, here we go!
'Depression' has become one of those 'psychobabble' words that the general public
bandy about as if they knew something about it and it has become devalued. The
result is confusion. I sit next to GPs in AA
meetings and they freely admit they didn't know anything about addiction until
they came to the fellowship. Doctors receive virtually no training in this field,
probably because their teachers don't understand it either. They are struggling
to understand the confused issues of addiction and depression —
and they are mostly at sea when it comes to treatment, hence the pills. As one
of my doctor friends says: "When I am faced with an alcoholic patient, my
heart sinks."
Alcoholics use 'depression' as the acceptable 'front' for their real illness.
After all, there is no disgrace in saying you are suffering from depression,
whereas to say you are an alcoholic...oh dear me, no! Chronic, clinical depression is a seriously
debilitating, persistent illness, but the vast majority of people who claim to be depressed
are really just miserable and unhappy. I am sorry to have to tell you
but this is a normal human condition experienced by everyone from
time to time. In the past, people had to bear it and they got through it by
gritting their teeth and crying as, indeed, many people do today; this is a
normal, human response to adversity. Now, however, we often look for the 'quick fix' of
an anti-depressant. [I used alcohol (as well as the pills) for my 'quick
fix' because it worked faster.] Then, of course, there is the addiction to the anti-depressants...another
minefield.
Summing up: Alcoholics say they are drinking because they are 'depressed' when it is, in
fact, their chaotic, alcoholic lifestyle which is causing their
misery, unhappiness and depression. This, of course, is good news for us alcoholics. Why?
Because we can escape our depressive state by dealing with its primary cause —
our ALCOHOLISM. That's exactly what we do at Acorns.
Where do you stand?
[Top]
My family feel ashamed of me and don't want anyone
else to know.
That's their problem — they will have to sort that one out for themselves.
Don't concern yourself with trying to live other people's lives for them, you've
got enough on your plate. Anyway, the chances are most people around you will
already know or have a pretty good idea. We are not invisible — and the person
behind the counter at the off-licence will almost certainly know. And your
disease, if untreated, will get progressively worse — and that's a fact. [See
the Alcohol Dependence
question above.]
[Top]
How will the twelve-step programme help?
Because it is a programme of change. By working
this programme you will become a changed person who thinks and behaves
differently. Again, think about it sensibly — if you remain the same person
who drank, you will continue to drink. Your aim is to be an alcoholic who lives
like a normal person. You will lose the NEED to drink.
[Top]
But why should I change; I’m all right as I am?
Come off it and get honest with yourself. The fact
that you’re reading this tells you that this is not the case.
[Top]
Will I be able to become a ‘social drinker’ one day?
In a word, ‘No’.
Think about this logically. Alcoholics drink to blot out reality and this means
getting drunk. Social drinking is about staying in control while enjoying a few
drinks with friends. 'Social drinking' is no good to alcoholics — it
doesn’t do the job. Drinking, for an alcoholic, is a seriously dedicated
operation; we set out to get drunk.
[Top]
But I know people who were alcoholics but who
hardly drink at all now. Surely this proves you wrong?
I have been around Alcoholics Anonymous, mixing with and
studying alcoholics, for over twenty years and I have never come across one single alcoholic
who has
returned to social drinking. Not one. I have met hundreds who have tried, failed and
returned to active alcoholism (and many of these have died), but not one who has
succeeded in becoming a normal drinker.
I think the problem is one of mistaking
'heavy drinkers' for 'alcoholics'; they are not the same thing at all. Heavy
drinkers, although they abuse alcohol, are not dependent upon it. They like
its taste and they like its
effect within the convivial drinking environment (usually pubs) and they consume
more than is good for them. Then, as they get older and they take their responsibilities more seriously, or
as the drug takes its toll physically, their consumption falls and they end up
just having an odd drink or even not bothering with it at all. These people were never really addicted to alcohol —
they fail the CAGE test — although many persistent heavy drinkers
eventually graduate to full-blown alcoholism.
[Top]
What is the CAGE test?
This is a quick indicator of whether alcohol is a problem or not.
If you (honestly) answer 'Yes' to two or more of these questions,
you probably have an alcohol problem:
(1) Do you ever feel you should Cut down on your drinking?
(2) ....................Do you ever get Annoyed when people criticize
or comment on your drinking?
(3) ..................Do you ever feel Guilty about how much you
drink?
(4) .........Do you ever need an Eye-opener in the morning (a
little more alcohol to help you cope)?
[Top]
What is Alcoholics Anonymous?
This is a fellowship of men and women who
meet together on a regular basis to share their stories and their progress with
each other. This makes them better and keeps them well. They use the twelve-step
programme. It has been shown to work better than any other therapy; millions
have got sober using it.
[Each group is autonomous and makes its own decisions
based upon ordinary members’ wishes, but the organization is made up of a
world-wide network of these groups. The officials are merely trusted servants of
the members. Its motto is "Unity, Service, Recovery".]
[Top]
Do I have to be sober to attend?
The only requirement for membership is a
desire to stop drinking. We have been to AA meetings where the
person next to us was so drunk they were falling off the chair but as long as
they didn’t cause disruption they were allowed to stay. Of course, they had
wasted their time being there as far as learning anything is concerned, but I
suppose they didn’t drink for the hour-and-a-half the meeting took. This is a
very unusual and extreme scenario and most members go sober although it has to be said that many a
newcomer has gone to AA having had a fortifying drink. The quick
answer: try really hard to go sober, but don’t let having had a little tipple
stop you.
[Top]
Must I go to AA?
If you want to stay well, it is likely to be
the only way to be fairly sure, although there is no guarantee. It is estimated
that about 3% of
people who go through the doors of AA stay and get well, the other
97% don't go back because they think they know better than the sober people in
the room. This arrogance will probably kill them. If you go to
regular meetings and follow the programme thoroughly, your chances of becoming sober (and staying that way) are
fairly high; if you don’t your chances are nearer 0%. The more years you keep
going the better the odds. It is a life-time thing.
[Top]
This sounds like a dismal prospect — spending the rest of my life with these
saddos!
Don’t let your addictive negativity
overwhelm you. You will come to realize that these ‘saddos’, as you call
them, are from all walks of life, from famous actors and high-ranking
professionals to the unemployed and, hopefully, you. Addiction is a disease like
cancer — you don’t set out to get it — but it will kill you just as
efficiently if untreated. If you want another analogy, alcoholism is a bit like
diabetes; diabetics can’t tolerate unlimited quantities of sugar, alcoholics
can’t tolerate any alcohol — like having an allergy. But by going to AA
you can arrest your disease "a day at a time". You will come to love
the programme and the fellowship. Trust me!
[Top]
How much does it cost to be a member of AA?
Twelve-step fellowships are self-supporting
by members’ own voluntary contributions. There are no dues or fees — you pay
what (and if) you can, like a church collection. AA must be one of
the few organizations which has turned down the offer of money (in some
instances many thousands of pounds) from grateful families and bequests from
their wills. It is a matter of principle that AA is financed
solely by contributions from ordinary alcoholics attending meetings.
[Top]
Where do I find these meetings?
If you click on the 'Acorns
Literature' button on the side menu you can download a MS Word®
or Adobe Acrobat®
PDF copy of our local AA meetings list. We have also provided you with a link to the
AA
web site where you can discover more about AA, and if you click
here you can go straight to their map where you can find a list of contact
numbers for your region. You can also look in the local telephone book for Alcoholics
Anonymous. Give them a call and they will help you to find meetings in
your area.
[In the north-east the 24-hour contact number is 0191 521 4400.]
[Top]
How long do the meetings last?
Almost always one-an-a-half hours, although
there are some one-hour meetings. Be warned, though, once we are sober we pride
ourselves on being reliable so if the meeting is timed to start at 7.30 pm, it
will.
[Top]
What if I see people I know at the meetings?
They will be there for the same reason as
you and they will be grateful for your attendance. Without newcomers, the
fellowship would wither and die. Remember, it’s anonymous; you need only give
your first name (and you can make up a nick-name if you want to).
[Top]
Do I have to tell people at the meetings about myself?
You don’t have to do or say anything —
just attend and listen (in fact, at the beginning you will be advised to do just
that). The time will come when you will want to tell your new friends about
yourself.
[Top]
Will I be asked to do anything?
You will be asked to try not to pick up a
drink "a day at a time" and to keep going to the meetings. Some people
will probably give you their phone numbers; use them (before you pick up the
drink), even if it is just to tell them that you feel lousy. This simple act,
amazingly, will probably make you feel better — a trouble shared...
[Top]
How often do I have to go?
The recommendation for a newcomer is
"90 meetings in 90 days" (a meeting a day for 3 months). This sounds
like a tall order and few people achieve it, but it’s a good goal to aim for.
Meetings are like medicine and the more you take, the faster you can get well
— you can’t overdose on it but you can take too little. [If you come
to Acorns for treatment, you will not need to go to this many AA
meetings.]
[Top]
My commitments won’t allow me to attend meetings that often.
You have to work as hard to get well as you
did to get drunk. What ‘commitments’ ever stopped you getting a bottle?
Don’t make excuses to yourself — be honest; if you don’t want to go to
meetings just say so. It’s your recovery we’re talking about, not mine.
[Top]
I’ve heard that the word ‘God’ is used at these meetings — I don’t
want to belong to any religious cult.
Belief in God is not a requirement.
"God" is mentioned in the twelve steps, but always with the
qualification "…as you understand him", in other words, "a
power greater than yourself". If you fight shy of any concept of God as a
supernatural being, do what many others do, make the letters stand for Good
Orderly Direction or even Group Of Drunks — if the
group can stay sober and you can’t, they must have more power than you. The
12-step fellowships are more like very exclusive clubs.
Read
our 'God' page.
[Top]
I’ve been to AA before but I drank again — and now I’m ashamed to go back.
You and thousands of others. Don’t worry, your
experience is the norm; I don’t know the statistics because nobody keeps them
but I would think most people don’t stop drinking straight away in AA. You
will be welcomed with open arms — I guarantee it.
[Top]
When will my compulsion to drink go away — will it ever?
There is no definitive answer to this
question. For some people it disappears as soon as they accept that they can’t
really drink anymore, for others it takes a while. The one thing that is certain
is that it always goes away eventually. It is easier if we can come to terms
with the fact that we are powerless over alcohol if we try to use it; we don’t
control it, it controls us. Remember that we are asked not to drink "one
day at a time", which means we try not to drink for TODAY only —
and ‘tomorrow’ is just ‘today’ waiting to happen. We cannot live in
‘tomorrow’ until it becomes ‘today’.
[Top]
How do I cope with all those things in my past which are causing me shame, guilt
and fear?
Keep it simple. We cannot relive our past
and we cannot change it and we have to accept the things we can’t change. But
we can make amends. All of this is covered in the 12
steps.
[Top]
But my life is full of pain and fear — I just want to run away from
everything.
Dr Scott Peck, in his best-seller The
Road Less Travelled, begins with the statement, "Life is
difficult." Everybody’s life is hard but most people don’t drink to
blot it out. Although we can sometimes change things to our advantage, mostly we
can’t and we just have to endure it. Remember the cliché, "No pain –
no gain". Pain is the means by which we (however unwillingly) grow. Go to
your AA meeting and see how others coped in a similar situation.
Apply the Acorns ‘Normal Person Test’.
[Top]
What is the Acorns ‘Normal Person Test’?
At Acorns Day Treatment Centre
we often say to clients (and to ourselves) whenever we experience difficulties,
"What would a normal person do in this situation?" Leaving aside any
arguments about ‘normality’, we are usually quick to see the solution when
we stop thinking like alcoholics and think like the normal people we mix with (or
use to be ourselves).
[Top]
Are you saying that I’m not normal?
Apply the Acorns ‘Normal
Person Test’. Do normal people drink to excess to the detriment of themselves
and everything and everyone around them?
[Top]
I’ve tried the twelve step programme before and I just can’t get it.
As Jayne always says to people with this
problem, "It is a bit like learning to ride a bike. At first it seems
impossible, but you can see others doing it so you know it can be done. But, try
as you might, you can’t manage it — you keep falling off.
If you give up you will never learn. Keep trying and then, one day, you
will suddenly find that you are doing it — you can ride just like the rest.
From then on you will wonder why you couldn’t do it straight off."
[Top]
Who is Jayne?
She helps people learn to ride
(metaphorical) bikes — at Acorns.
[Top]
Can I get individual help
from Acorns staff without going into treatment?
No. This just isn’t the way treatment for this illness can
work. You can get some advice over the telephone but this isn’t treatment. If
you really want to know about your illness, buy the book Why
Am I An Alcoholic?
[Top]
Should I be attending the Acorns Day Treatment Centre?
Only you can answer this question. Our treatment centre caters for
people who cannot or will not, completely give themselves to the 12-step
programme in AA. Acorns helps people to do what they
could not do for themselves. Our staff have the same illness as you but they
have learnt to apply the programme to their daily living and have many years of
clean, sober living behind them — 15 to 20 years in most cases. They can
explain the steps, encourage you in your endeavours and, more importantly,
understand your problem.
[Top]
What exactly is this "12-step programme"
that you keep going on about; it seems very important?
This is the programme of change that I've been talking about
and it lies at the heart of our day-treatment regime. You won't be surprised to learn that It consists of
12
steps laid out in a logical and simple way and it helps us to come to
terms with our illness and helps us to overcome our difficulties. This programme
was devised by the founders of
Alcoholics Anonymous some sixty-odd
years ago and has remained unchanged ever since because it works. Clinical trials
have shown it to be the best form of treatment for addiction. We use our
own Acorns
Exegetic Recovery Programme, which will help you get the very best
out of the 12
steps and gain a deeper
understanding of the programme than you are likely to get anywhere else.
[Top]
Can I use my credit card to pay for
my course of treatment ?
You can use your credit card to pay for treatment by using the Cafonline.org
website, but you must Contact Us
to make arrangements for this.
[Top]
Does that mean that I can easily make a donation to Acorns
Outreach?
Absolutely, and we have clients waiting for treatment who would be
most grateful. Just click this link: Cafonline.org
and you will be taken to the appropriate page. Thank you. [See our Friends
of Acorns page.]
[Top]
How can I get into Acorns?
If you are funding yourself you can come in immediately as long as we have a
vacancy; give us a call. If you need state funding
you should telephone your local Social Services and ask to speak to the 'Duty
Social Worker' and they will help you. Keep telling them at every stage that
you want to go to
Acorns. Be prepared to wait a while — sometimes months — but persevere; keep assuring yourself that help is on the way. If you are worried about any part of this procedure, telephone
and we will try to help you. You would be well advised to inform your doctor
about your intentions; they are usually only too pleased to support you. [And
remember what we have said about 'detox'.]
[Top]
©
Acorns Outreach 02 May 2008
— all rights reserved
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for Alcohol (and Drug)
Dependence